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The one post where we all talk about how "Fifty Shades of Grey" is not about werewolves.

No one told me what I was getting into, I was just like, "FINE. Give me the damn book, I will read it." HOLY HOLY. I was just waiting for Christian Grey to be a werewolf or something. BUT NO. He's not a werewolf. And then I got to wondering why all my SAHM Mormon friends recommended this to me, but that's a WHOLE nuther discussion. At the end of the day: I am not crazy about the writing, it's atrocious and repetitive and Ana needs some serious therapy. Hell, I need some therapy after reading this. I find myself reading passages out loud to CJ and he literally grabs it from my hand and says, "NO way, it does not say that!" It does. Not for the squeamish, virgins, or faint of heart. But the banter is fun, the book is well, "enlightening" and I am racing through them at warp speed.

The Name (Change) Game

Changing my name to has been surprisingly pain free for the most part. On a whim (and a Groupon) I tried out Miss Now Mrs, which is a great online service that has you enter in your info once and it auto populates all your forms for you! I love it! Plus they ask you about things I didn't think of right away, like insurance and investments and auto populates a form letter to send off to all your companies. They also give you a list of what to send and bring to each agency or company to make sure you are prepared. So, armed with my forms, I was unstoppable.
Social Security office? I breezed in and out in less than 5 minutes. Little known fact, you can just bring your signed marriage license, you don't need the certified copy one.
DMV? Always a wait, but the staff was super helpful, also learned a lot about motorcycles and basically went on a date with this couple as they sat their quizzing each other about their lives. After 2 hours of sitting next to them I was like, "I know, me too!" Awkward.
Bank? Again, in and out in 5 minutes.
But my passport was probably the scariest of all.
First, you have to (gulp) send in your actual passport. And get a new photo. This is where I got concerned. I didn't want to go take the time to get a new photo. Enter ePassport Photo I just uploaded a quick head shot my friend Christina took of me against a white wall, adjusted the crop and bam! they sent it to my local Walgreens. Pretty much in love.
Now all I have to do is send off letters to my credit card, insurance companies and wait for my boss to come back from vacation and I will officially, officially be Mrs. Bolton. (Yahoo!)
Disclaimer: None of these companies even know I exist, I just really liked their services and thought I would share.

Crazy Bunny Lady

I have this malcontent bunny living in my work cube. Meet Daphne Blake Lee-Bolton.

I also have this delight at home. Meet Oreo Bolton.

We got married!

Purple Panic by China Glaze: The Ultimate Matte Nail Polish

My friend Erin gave me this polish to match my dress for my shower last weekend. I was like, "Neon? Purple?" and she said, "Trust me." I make it a point to always trust Erin, she is my go to gal for basically everything. Erin was not kidding around, this color is fantastic, perfectly matte, dries like a dream (so fast!). I was sad to hand back over the bottle on Monday. Makeup alley also did a great review on it.

*China Glaze has no idea who I am, I just really liked the polish.

This is why I am marrying him....

Just when I thought you were awesome and I find big long strand of brown hair in my pork roast. Bad! L

From: Tiffany Lee [mailto:TiLee@ssg.PetSmart.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:01 PM
To: Bolton, Chester-P63175
Subject: RE: Invitation to view Tiffany Lee's Picasa Web Album - Hawaii Engagement Trip

Tackling now…

Tiffany Lee | Environmental Sustainability Analyst |

| O: 623.587.2686 | tilee@ssg.petsmart.com

From: Chester.Bolton@gdc4s.com [mailto:Chester.Bolton@gdc4s.com]
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:00 PM
To: Tiffany Lee
Subject: RE: Invitation to view Tiffany Lee's Picasa Web Album - Hawaii Engagement Trip

Impossible! You are the all-knowing fiance’. Any luck on the photos?

Lines For The Fortune Cookies, 2012 « Thought Catalog

By Courtney Preiss for the Thought Catalog

Five pairs of shoes is entirely too many for one weekend away.

The world is not coming to an end, but your patience for the people in it will wear awfully thin.

Quit sleeping around, you chippy.

It’s election time again. Know what you must do.

Screaming at the game through your television set increases your team’s chances of winning by 8%. Keep up the good work!

Seven rounds of drinks is entirely too many for one night on the town.

You will frequently wind up kissing boys sitting next to the boys you should be kissing.

In the end, labels mean nothing. But haven’t you always fancied yourself in something Chanel?

Listening to rap music will not make you any less white.

Be kind to the other girls. Even the mean ones. They are very scared.

You will wake up on an unfamiliar bathroom floor with a throbbing head and bruised knees.

You will meet Chevy Chase in a crowded restaurant and find yourself at a stunning loss for words.

Someone in this room is faking their orgasms.

Speak less, listen more, write everything down.

Trenchcoats and wayfarers will never go out of style. Buy, buy, buy.

Swallowing your enthusiasm is actually more uncool than you can ever know!

Doling out insincere kisses is diluting the sincerity of your true ones.

Jesus may not come back, but Kurt Cobain most certainly will.

Make your bed, make some tea.

White flour kills. Processed sugar kills. Cigarettes are okay in moderation.

It’s time to retire that sweater you wear. You know the one.

How many men have you satisfied with “Under My Thumb” playing in the background? Reevaluate your goals.

Heaven help you if you buy that bottle of wine from 2004.

You are not in a fraternity. Act accordingly.

You are only on this carousel once. Grab that brass ring now.

Fortune cookie say: take it from where it comes.

Jeff Goldblum has a secret crush on you — you lucky, lucky girl.

Dance, sweet thing, dance. TC mark

Photo Card

Save It Noir Wedding Save the Date

Tell them you love them with Shutterfly Valentines cards.

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Santa's Carbon Footprint

Love this infographic by ethical ocean

via Ethical Ocean - eco friendly products, fair trade and vegan shopping.

Finally getting around to editing Hawaii!

How Much Backyard Needed Grow Food for a Family of Four

Very interesting infographic from treehugger.com on how much land you would need to feed a family of 4...

Dress Shopping (Again) - Now with better dresses!

I gotta say, I loved all of these in person, but cell cameras don't lie. I had to throw a few out!

Here we go! Ranked in order of awesomeness.

#1 - Ruffles! Allure 8862 - All about it!

#2 - Casablanca 2024 - Organza and beads (Store folk wouldn't let me get a photo. They suck).

Casablanca 2035 - Soft Net and Beading (very similar to 2024 just above, which has a longer top to cover the "situation you have going on there," said the sales girls)

Allure 8850 - Champagne Lace Dream (Wa-hay over budget)

Casablanca 2002 - Organza Slim (So light and airy! Obviously this was too small so click on the link to see it on the model. Fabulous sparkly buttons all the way down!)

Allure 8859 aka. Slim Jim (This one is deceiving. It looks nice up close, and then zoom out and it's SATIN! SHINY! HIPS!)

Okay on to the rejects...I loved them in the store, hated them in photos.

Maggie Sottero Sabelle This one was a front runner, but I couldn't get past the taffeta, lace weird train split

Maggie Sottero Priscilla (Also deceiving in person, so pretty, in photos SHINY! Also WAY out of budget, but that train is to die for)

Sottero & Midgely Loretta - Drop waist disaster

Wedding Dress Shopping!

When my Mom and sister were in town last May, we did a marathon weekend of venue and dress shopping for the wedding. Venue: check! Dress: let's find out.
We ended up at Yes! I Do! Bridal in Chandler that carried the Casablanca line.
There were some really great gowns, but none that I could fit into to try on.

My sister Cassie was kind enough to sport some looks for me and at the end of the day, we decided on this dress, but in a slightly different lace.

I was still apprehensive though, I wasn't sure what the dress felt like on or would look like on me. So I decided to keep my options open and keep looking.

This is how I feel after wedding dress shopping today.

AMAZING!
My friend Kari came with me to try on dresses at this great store called Strut Bridal in Phoenix. First, Strut rocks. Owner Ann only carries dresses in size 12+. Second, they have an amazing selection. I worked with Pam Meeks to find 4 final contenders.

But first, the rejects: cafe mocha and ivory lace and tulle tea length dress. I totally loved this! But it's not quite right for our event.

Next, an ivory confection. I just fell in love with this neckline and 3D skirt detail.