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The one post where we all talk about how "Fifty Shades of Grey" is not about werewolves.

No one told me what I was getting into, I was just like, "FINE. Give me the damn book, I will read it." HOLY HOLY. I was just waiting for Christian Grey to be a werewolf or something. BUT NO. He's not a werewolf. And then I got to wondering why all my SAHM Mormon friends recommended this to me, but that's a WHOLE nuther discussion. At the end of the day: I am not crazy about the writing, it's atrocious and repetitive and Ana needs some serious therapy. Hell, I need some therapy after reading this. I find myself reading passages out loud to CJ and he literally grabs it from my hand and says, "NO way, it does not say that!" It does. Not for the squeamish, virgins, or faint of heart. But the banter is fun, the book is well, "enlightening" and I am racing through them at warp speed.

The Name (Change) Game

Changing my name to has been surprisingly pain free for the most part. On a whim (and a Groupon) I tried out Miss Now Mrs, which is a great online service that has you enter in your info once and it auto populates all your forms for you! I love it! Plus they ask you about things I didn't think of right away, like insurance and investments and auto populates a form letter to send off to all your companies. They also give you a list of what to send and bring to each agency or company to make sure you are prepared. So, armed with my forms, I was unstoppable.
Social Security office? I breezed in and out in less than 5 minutes. Little known fact, you can just bring your signed marriage license, you don't need the certified copy one.
DMV? Always a wait, but the staff was super helpful, also learned a lot about motorcycles and basically went on a date with this couple as they sat their quizzing each other about their lives. After 2 hours of sitting next to them I was like, "I know, me too!" Awkward.
Bank? Again, in and out in 5 minutes.
But my passport was probably the scariest of all.
First, you have to (gulp) send in your actual passport. And get a new photo. This is where I got concerned. I didn't want to go take the time to get a new photo. Enter ePassport Photo I just uploaded a quick head shot my friend Christina took of me against a white wall, adjusted the crop and bam! they sent it to my local Walgreens. Pretty much in love.
Now all I have to do is send off letters to my credit card, insurance companies and wait for my boss to come back from vacation and I will officially, officially be Mrs. Bolton. (Yahoo!)
Disclaimer: None of these companies even know I exist, I just really liked their services and thought I would share.

Crazy Bunny Lady

I have this malcontent bunny living in my work cube. Meet Daphne Blake Lee-Bolton.

I also have this delight at home. Meet Oreo Bolton.

We got married!

Purple Panic by China Glaze: The Ultimate Matte Nail Polish

My friend Erin gave me this polish to match my dress for my shower last weekend. I was like, "Neon? Purple?" and she said, "Trust me." I make it a point to always trust Erin, she is my go to gal for basically everything. Erin was not kidding around, this color is fantastic, perfectly matte, dries like a dream (so fast!). I was sad to hand back over the bottle on Monday. Makeup alley also did a great review on it.

*China Glaze has no idea who I am, I just really liked the polish.

This is why I am marrying him....

Just when I thought you were awesome and I find  big long strand of brown hair in my pork roast. Bad! L
From: Tiffany Lee []
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:01 PM
To: Bolton, Chester-P63175
Subject: RE: Invitation to view Tiffany Lee's Picasa Web Album - Hawaii Engagement Trip

Tackling now…

http://fetch/Topics/ThinkTwice/ThinkTwicePics/ThinkTwice_Email_Footer.gifTiffany Lee | Environmental Sustainability Analyst |cid:image003.png@01CBDA7E.0C9CACC0| O: 623.587.2686 |

From: []
Sent: Tuesday, May 10, 2011 12:00 PM
To: Tiffany Lee
Subject: RE: Invitation to view Tiffany Lee's Picasa Web Album - Hawaii Engagement Trip

Impossible! You are the all-knowing fiance’. Any luck on the photos?

Lines For The Fortune Cookies, 2012 « Thought Catalog

Lines For The Fortune Cookies, 2012 « Thought Catalog

By Courtney Preiss for the Thought Catalog

Five pairs of shoes is entirely too many for one weekend away.

The world is not coming to an end, but your patience for the people in it will wear awfully thin.

Quit sleeping around, you chippy.

It’s election time again. Know what you must do.

Screaming at the game through your television set increases your team’s chances of winning by 8%. Keep up the good work!

Seven rounds of drinks is entirely too many for one night on the town.

You will frequently wind up kissing boys sitting next to the boys you should be kissing.

In the end, labels mean nothing. But haven’t you always fancied yourself in something Chanel?

Listening to rap music will not make you any less white.

Be kind to the other girls. Even the mean ones. They are very scared.

You will wake up on an unfamiliar bathroom floor with a throbbing head and bruised knees.

You will meet Chevy Chase in a crowded restaurant and find yourself at a stunning loss for words.

Someone in this room is faking their orgasms.

Speak less, listen more, write everything down.

Trenchcoats and wayfarers will never go out of style. Buy, buy, buy.

Swallowing your enthusiasm is actually more uncool than you can ever know!

Doling out insincere kisses is diluting the sincerity of your true ones.

Jesus may not come back, but Kurt Cobain most certainly will.

Make your bed, make some tea.

White flour kills. Processed sugar kills. Cigarettes are okay in moderation.

It’s time to retire that sweater you wear. You know the one.

How many men have you satisfied with “Under My Thumb” playing in the background? Reevaluate your goals.

Heaven help you if you buy that bottle of wine from 2004.

You are not in a fraternity. Act accordingly.

You are only on this carousel once. Grab that brass ring now.

Fortune cookie say: take it from where it comes.

Jeff Goldblum has a secret crush on you — you lucky, lucky girl.

Dance, sweet thing, dance. TC mark